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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640547">In Search of Belonging</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHamilton/pseuds/OhHamilton'>OhHamilton</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:34:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHamilton/pseuds/OhHamilton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gains a soulmate not long after his tenth birthday. The name of Harry James Potter scrawled across his ribs.</p><p>Harry is born with a soulmark (he assumes) but by the time he can remember, the name has been seared from his skin by his loving relatives. </p><p>Will they ever find each other? What will they have to go through before they can find their other half?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Avidreaders Avengers WIP faves, Avidreaders HP WIP faves, Fanfics Harry Potter não concluidas, Harry Potter Crossovers, Harry_PotterxMarvel_xSC</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Welcome! I have been working on this little story on and off for a while. I have just finished the final edit and so decided to start posting. I have also finished another story and am working through the edits on that one so will start posting it next week.</p><p>I really like the interaction of Harry Potter in the MCU, the fics I find are always really fun. I also have a serious weak spot for Tony Stark. The idea of having a soulmate AU has been floating around in my head for a while and it just settled on these two. There is absolutely nothing explicit in this story, though now that I think about it, there is one brief reference to a sex act, so I should probably tag that... Anyways... I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony staggered as he stepped into his room after dinner, a burning sensation crawling across his ribs. Excitement, hope and trepidation warred in his chest when he tugged off his shirt.</p><p><em>Harry James Potter</em> was written in shiny black calligraphy across his rib cage on the left.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>Tony had not expected it to be a boy. Not that he had an issue with being gay, not that he was convinced he was gay, but anyway. Realisation struck and checking his watch, he saw it was just gone 6:30 pm on 31 July 1980. </p><p>Tony had had his tenth birthday just a few months ago and couldn't help the thrum of excitement at now knowing he had a soul mate. Only when your soul mate was born did you get their name. Harry would have been born with Tony's name in the same place.</p><p>Brushing his fingers over the words, he concentrated on sending affection through the fledgling bond that had bloomed with Harry’s first breath. It could be ignored, of course, the bond could be left unfinished and as they got older it would fade to nothing more than a thread, but the words would remain, as would the potential. Not everyone had a soulmate, but it was common enough, like blue eyes, or red hair.</p><p>He knew that Harry,<em> his</em> Harry, would be too young to understand anything, but he would be able to feel what was sent through. Tony could only hope that one day it would be reciprocated. Stories had been told of how soul mates could feel each other’s joy and pain through the fledgling bond, allowing some kind of connection to begin long before they met.</p><p>Sitting down on his bed, Tony looked around the private room in the exclusive New York boarding school his father had sent him to. Late at night, when he was alone and supposed to be sleeping, Tony couldn't help but wonder why his father had agreed to have a child. Howard wanted nothing to do with him. When Tony had shown an aptitude for the sciences, he had been shipped off to the best boarding school money could afford. A Stark would never accept anything less than the best, even on inconsequential things.</p><p>It was lonely, being sent away so young. Tony had been practically raised by Mr Jarvis and his wife Ana. They were the butler and housekeeper for his parent’s estate respectively. In reality, though, they were the parents he had always dreamt of. When Howard and Maria were absent, which was often, the pair would dote on him. Tony’s mother tried to love him, but he suspected something was fundamentally broken in the woman. He was only now, just old enough to see that she was the problem, rather than him.</p><p>The only other adult he knew was Obadiah Stane. His father’s business partner and Tony’s godfather. Obadiah always took the time to listen to Tony, to find out what he was interested in. Obie nurtured Tony’s genius, encouraging him to greater heights that Howard couldn’t even imagine. Part of Tony wondered whether his father was jealous over his brilliance, but Howard was a genius in his own right.</p><p>Instead of caring about his family or company, Tony’s father was always elsewhere, always searching for Steve Rogers - Captain America. Tony meant little to the man who was supposed to cherish him, treating him as nothing more than an annoyance and a burden whenever they were together. It didn’t matter what Tony did to try and make the man happy, it was never enough. Tony had been was seven when he had built his first engine, and in return, Tony had been sent away. It had been the final straw. Tony had decided that if his father couldn’t care about him, he wouldn’t care about his father. Tony didn’t need Howard or Maria. He was fine on his own.</p><p>Tony was already on the fast track to graduating from high school early. He hoped to graduate at 14. His mother had quietly suggested (one of the few times he had seen her since being sent away) that Howard would be pleased if Tony went to MIT. Part of Tony wanted to avoid MIT, just to spite his father, but it was an excellent school and he could admit, if only to himself, in the dark of night, that some part of him craved his fathers' approval. So, he had been working hard and had already put feelers out with the university and they seemed enthused at the prospect of taking on the Stark prodigy at 15 years of age. </p><p>He wondered how he would meet Harry; when their paths might cross in the future. He hoped that Harry would see Tony for himself, rather than for the money or the name everyone else seemed to see.</p><p>He only hoped his father wouldn't kill him for having a male soul mate.</p><p>Jerking upright, his eyes widened in horror. </p><p>His father could and would kill his soulmate. Howard was a horrific homophobe, this all the while he was obsessively searching for one Captain America (but let's not open that can of worms). Pacing, Tony mentally ran through different ways he could hide his soul mark. Long term he would need to create a waterproof film that he could apply, and it would take on the colour of the surrounding skin tone. It would need to be smart enough to filter out the black and only pick up the natural tones.</p><p>Short term he needed something skin-toned which he could apply… Girls used that sort of thing… makeup. Perhaps… yes, Vicky, she had a similar skin tone to him, she was also kind. Hopefully, she would be able to help.</p><p>It would be a bitch to sneak into the girls’ dormitories, but it was to be expected of him at this age. Already rumours had begun about him flirting with older girls and fooling around, not that he did. He thought it absurd for a 10-year-old to be doing anything sexual, regardless of who he was. Tony wasn't stupid though, he knew how to manipulate others to get what he wanted, and so he used what tools he had at his disposal, which were considerable. If he couldn’t get what he wanted or needed from his parents, he would convince others to do it instead.</p><p>It was just past curfew and so everyone should be in their rooms by the time Tony padded out of the room. The floor cold on his bare feet. Sneaking along the empty hallways, he wound his way through the shadows and up the stairs to the girl’s wing. Apparently, the faculty thought that by putting the boys at one end of the school and the girls at the other, they would somehow be less motivated to sneak out to see each other at night. It just meant that the determined ones were more careful.</p><p>Tony made it to Vicky's room without incident. She was thirteen and an absolute virtuoso with the violin. He was pretty sure she was a night owl and liked to practice in the quiet of the dark. Checking the doorknob, he was surprised to find it unlocked.</p><p>Easing open the door, he spotted her, standing the in middle of the room, headphones plugged into her violin practising. Darting in, he closed the door behind himself and waited for her to notice him.</p><p>It wasn't until she went to set the violin down that she saw him leaning against the back of her door. Her frown was severe as she yanked her headphones off.</p><p>"Tony!" Vicky hissed. "What are you doing?!"</p><p>"I need your help, please," he begged quietly, the word <em>please </em>curdling on his tongue. His father did not believe in asking for help and had taught him the same. Aggressively.</p><p>Her frown eased until it was just a crease between her brows. "What is it, Tony?"</p><p>"I got my soul mark; I need your help covering it." There was little point trying to pretend it was anything else. He needed to learn how to cover it well and she would see the name.</p><p>Her frown returned in full force. It was considered rude to hide a soul mark, they were prized above all else; soul bonded pairs were almost revered.</p><p>"I have to protect him," Tony explained before she could say anything further.</p><p>She thought for a few moments before nodding, stepping over to her vanity and sorting through the bottles. "Where is the mark?"</p><p>Pulling his shirt off, Tony twisted to show the name on his ribs and her eyes softened. "I have to protect him," Tony repeated softly as she sat down on the vanity chair and beckoned him over.</p><p>Soon she was smoothing concealer over the words as Tony tried not to squirm away from the touch. It was wrong to have someone else touch the mark, but it had to be borne. As she worked, she explained what she was doing and the products she was using.</p><p>Vicky was wiping her hands off as Tony tugged his shirt back on, happy in the knowledge that his soul mates name was hidden. Catching up her hands before he left, he searched her soft brown eyes.</p><p>"You cannot tell anyone ever, please Vicky," he begged, watching her swallow and nod.</p><p>"I promise Tony."</p><p>“I owe you one.” He promised in return.</p><p>With that, he snuck out, not seeing one of the other girls watching as he left. By lunchtime the next day, rumours were circulating about him and Vicky, neither of them confirming or denying that he had been in her room late at night. </p><p>He allowed the reputation to grow over the year until other girls began inviting him to their rooms for late-night rendezvous. Sometimes he accepted, sometimes he didn't. He allowed a new dimension of the persona he was creating; people seemed to expect him to be a bit of a playboy, so he allowed it to happen, even though he was not yet eleven. Even though it made him sick.</p><p>Tony's soul ached for the lie, for the fact that people other than his soul mate were laying hands on him. He convinced himself that it was protection for his soul mate. If people, if girls saw him without a shirt, markless, they were unlikely to believe anyone who claimed he had a soul mate. His stomach churned when his first kiss was stolen. Not that she knew it was theft.</p><p>Even though he spent a lot of time studying, working his way through the higher education curriculum offered by the school, he made time to work in secret on a camouflaging polymer. He needed something better than a concealer stick to protect his soul mate.</p><p>Within six months, he had developed a thin film that would adhere to his skin and take on the surrounding tone without the black mark showing through.</p><p>When he applied it and saw that it worked, Tony breathed a sigh of relief. Harry,<em> his</em> Harry, was safe. Safe from persecution, safe from his father. One day, when he was older, when it was safer, he would find his soul mate. For now, his father still had too much control over his life.</p><p>Tony kept sending pulses of affection through the fledgling bond, occasionally getting simple joy or happiness back. It wasn't until lunchtime on October 31st, almost a year and a half after he received the mark, that something else came down the bond.</p><p>Tony had been in the workshop space he had appropriated as his own, tinkering with a robot he had been developing. It would one day, hopefully, be a mechanical hand. Tony hoped it would be more than that too; it would be an AI. Artificial Intelligence. It would learn and grow and improve as he worked with it. Well, that was the aim anyway. He hoped it would act as admission into MIT, a demonstration of his skill and worth because his father certainly wouldn’t notice it.</p><p>He should have gone to lunch when the bell went but had hit his stride with the tricky wiring in the elbow joint of the machine. Tony barely even noticed when the workshop teacher, Mr Larassy, tried to get him to take a break before leaving him alone in the workshop. He was blindsided when a searing pain tore through his soul mark, forcing Tony to his knees and stealing his breath. </p><p>When his vision returned, he could feel the agony, the anguish, like nothing he had ever experienced before. It throbbed through his ribcage and lanced into his heart.  Still trying to catch his breath, Tony fumbled to find the edge of the mark cover. Hissing in pain, he peeled it back off the inflamed skin. The words were an angry red, the skin puffy and tender. Rolling up the cover and stuffing it into his pocket, Tony flopped onto his back as spasms of pain rippled through him.</p><p>Something had gone terribly wrong for his soul mate. He had never heard of this sort of thing before. When mates died, normally they went together, provided the bond was fulfilled. If the bond was not fulfilled, the name greyed out and eventually faded. This pain, through a fledgling bond, was unheard of.</p><p>Afraid and worried, Tony resolved to try and locate his little mate, his little Harry, and help however he could. He tried to sit up and failed, falling back onto the cold hard ground with a whimper.</p><p>Tomorrow.</p><p>Tomorrow he would begin the search for his mate.</p><p>*****</p><p>The months stretched by as Tony searched and studied. No longer did bursts of happiness or joy trickle down the bond. Instead, he received pangs of sadness and confusion. He tried to send what comfort he could, often ending up falling asleep with his hand pressed to his ribs in the hopes of giving something to his mate.</p><p>After a year, the confusion fully faded away, replaced with loneliness that made him ache. Tony never gave up searching, using all of the resources he had to first search America, then the world. He could find no trace of his soulmate.</p><p>While he searched, he studied; the sooner he could finish school, the faster he could go to MIT. He would have greater freedoms there, and additional resources too. </p><p>Tony graduated at 15, Jarvis and Ana were not able to attend the ceremony, but Obadiah brought his mother to watch from the audience. He was accepted immediately into MITs engineering and physics programs. DUM-E, his robotic AI, served as proof of his worth, granting him admission with ease. It was at this point that the pain started. At first, it was little lurches, moments to startle him, but as the year wore on, the spikes of pain grew worse.</p><p>He used all of the resources he had at MIT and found the first whisper of his mate. A Harry Potter, born 31 July 1980, was attending a primary school in Surrey, England. Tony tried to figure out what he could do with the information, but without sneaking out of MIT and flying to Surrey to steal away his mate, he had no idea what to do. Even if he did manage to get to Surrey, it was unlikely he would be able to spirit Harry away, and once he had him, where would he hide the other boy? Tony’s father could never be permitted to find out about his mate, and that would definitely happen if Tony returned with a boy in tow. </p><p>Tony had few allies, remaining unsure of who he could trust with his secret. As much as he loved Jarvis and Ana, they were employed by his father and Tony didn’t want to risk putting them in an awkward position. His mother was no help either. Over the years she had become nothing more than a trophy wife, smiling and nodding as his father tugged on her strings.</p><p>Something in him also screamed not to tell Obadiah. He didn’t want to risk his relationship with the man over this. He didn’t want to risk Harry’s safety on the wrong person. Because of his fame, Tony had learned quickly that people generally wanted something from him and could not be trusted with anything private or personal.</p><p>Impotent with frustration and pain from the bond, Tony threw himself into his double degree, winning an MIT robot design award at 16 with his next robot U. His father, of course, didn’t acknowledge his accomplishment, but this was almost expected now. While he was trying so desperately to drown himself in studying, Tony met James Rhodes, who somehow became his friend. </p><p>With the introduction of Rhodey into his life, Tony had a new distraction, new doors were opened to him, and not all of them were good. Rhodey was a good guy in the engineering program, sponsored by the military. He had good intentions but the 18-year-old forgot quickly just how young Tony was. Instead of spending his spare time searching for his mate, Tony fell into the party scene, experimenting with alcohol, drugs, and ultimately, sex. He was willing to use anything to dull the ache of failure, anything to numb the pain rippling down the bond. The knowledge that he could do nothing to protect his soul mate settled deep in his psyche, indelibly changing Tony from the bright happy boy he could have been into a shell of rebellion and pain.</p><p>Tony accomplished his masters in both degrees at the tender age of 17. No one had ever finished one mastery, let alone two, in such a short space of time.</p><p>He was hailed as a genius.</p><p>He felt like a failure.</p><p>Most nights he woke breathless with secondary pain trickling down their bond. It horrified Tony to imagine what his little mate was suffering through.</p><p>Alcohol helped dull the pain.</p><p>Unfortunately, with his graduation from MIT, what freedom Tony had, ended.</p><p>He was summoned back to Stark Manor in New York. It was time to take his place in Stark Industries. To repay all that he had been given, now that he had proven his genius. His father, perhaps in the only kind gesture of his life, granted Tony his own lab in the R &amp; D division of the company where he was quickly put to work building better weapons. Howard would force Tony to attend regular board meetings where his opinion and thoughts were ignored.</p><p>Tony quickly grew to hate watching his father and the other board members posturing for each other. It was pointless and nauseating to witness it all. But he knew this was a test from his father and Tony refused to allow Howard to win. So Tony persevered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! Thank you for all the lovely comments! I am so excited to receive such a positive response to my new fic! This is a week earlier than I had planned on posting, but I felt like sharing this a little early :)</p>
<p>This chapter isn't very exciting, I was mostly trying to cover the salient points in the two stories as quickly as I could.  I wanted to show how the shit Harry goes through impacts on Tony's life and how it drives him to super unhealthy coping mechanisms.</p>
<p>Next chapter we will get away from the plotty-plotness, and into some actual storytelling.</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>The next three years passed, somehow.</p>
<p>Tony would spend his time developing smarter weapons and systems for Stark Industries. He would do what he could to numb the pain reverberating down the bond he shared with Harry. It never properly worked, but the times where he managed to escape the agony felt like breathing again.</p>
<p>His self-worth plummeted as he continued to fail his hurting mate. Tony allowed himself to be used and abused. He didn’t deserve anything more, he struggled to accept kindness in any form. The only thing Tony was good for was making weapons, acting as a bank account and fucking. At least, he thought he was good at sex, that could be a lie too.</p>
<p>Shortly after Tony’s 21st birthday, the feedback from the bond with his mate changed. No longer was pain the only thing that filtered down their connection. When Tony checked in, he could see that Harry was no longer enrolled in any of the schools in Surrey. Checking deeper, he could find no evidence of Harry anywhere. He had vanished. </p>
<p>Tony tried not to panic, clearly Harry was in a better place, the absence of pain and fear boded well. Occasionally, there would be some happiness, joy or excitement that would reach out to him over the remainder of the year. It gave him hope that Harry had somehow gotten himself out, had found a better place.</p>
<p>Then, just prior to Christmas the same year, everything changed for Tony. </p>
<p>His parents died.</p>
<p>He tried as best he could to block the grief and anger he felt from leaking down the bond. He wasn’t sure how successful he was, considering that now he would go to sleep with comfort throbbing down their connection, just like he used to do for Harry. It was the only thing that stopped him from completely losing his mind. </p>
<p>For one crazy day, Tony considered running away, tracking down his soul mate and hiding from the world. His heart screamed that it was the wrong choice. In a rage, he drank himself blind for a month. Eventually, the concern leaching through the bond grew strong enough to wake Tony up.</p>
<p>Obadiah Stane, business partner for his father and godfather to Tony, stepped into the void left by Howard. Obie acted as a doting uncle, helping Tony pick himself up, encouraging him to get back to work. He insisted that keeping busy would help Tony with his grief. He was right.  Jarvis remained a stoic presence in his life, acting as a solid rock while everything changed around him.</p>
<p>Obadiah and the board began making noises about him taking on more responsibility, stepping into his fathers shoes, leading Stark Industries into the future. Part of him cringed at the violence he was perpetrating, but he tried to believe what his father had: it was better to be the man making the guns than the one getting killed by them. Making weapons that only had to be fired once, building the perfect deterrent; that was the goal.</p>
<p>So Tony agreed to become the CEO of Stark Industries soon, he was still only 21 after all and was not ready for such heavy responsibility. He wrapped the lie that was his life tightly around himself, building a persona that the world expected. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist. People began underestimating him, forgetting his genius and his PhDs in favour of only seeing the monied drunk he presented.</p>
<p>His only anchor to the world was Harry.</p>
<p>Harry who worried and cared for him. Harry who experienced breathtaking pain once again not long after Tony's 22<sup>nd</sup> birthday. Thankfully Tony had been alone when he had been forced to his knees by waves of anguish. It had taken three days before anything reassuring came down the bond afterwards, and Tony breathed a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>During the summer, the moderate level pain returned through the bond, desolation growing with each passing day. Tony tried to help when he could, but there was little that could be done. He had no idea where his soul mate was anymore and could only devote a limited amount of time to the search.</p>
<p>Then, something happened and it was all he could do to keep his head above water. Jarvis, the man who had been more of a father to him than Howard, died. </p>
<p>He died. </p>
<p>Grief was an ocean he was drowning in. </p>
<p>Filled with longing for the man he missed, Tony started programming. It was something he had wanted to build for a while but hadn't had the time or the motivation. It took a month locked away in his workshop, sleepless with grief and anguish, but he was done. JARVIS, his new Artificial Intelligence, lived. The sound of Jarvis' voice filled his mansion, and Tony didn't feel quite so alone anymore.</p>
<p>JARVIS would learn and grow and change. Tony embedded a few protocols to ensure that the AI wouldn't go Skynet on the world, including a small request that JARVIS locate any and all information on his soul mate and store it secretly on his private servers. Tony had to know what was happening with Harry but was terrified the world would find out about his soul mark.</p>
<p>While Howard was dead, it still wasn’t safe to be his soul mate. Tony was loved and hated in equal measure by the world and his young soul mate would immediately become a target if his identity were found. The comfort of having Harry with him was not worth the risk to his life, no matter how much they both hurt.</p>
<p>Tony turned up to the next board meeting after he had purged his grief for JARVIS into an AI, a step behind Obie, clean-shaven (mostly) and in a new suit. He listened to the current position of the company, plans and ideas pouring from his fingertips into his tablet, noting improvements and better ideas for the future of the company.</p>
<p>Within the next month, Stark Industries was invigorated, refreshed by the new CEO, the new direction and his new ideas. Pepper Potts was hired as his personal assistant. She was terribly overqualified but happily did the job for the disgusting pay packet Obie was no doubt giving her. She was his keeper - his warden, ensuring he didn't stray too far from his role. Obie had been insistent that Tony needed to step up, but it was all on the older man’s terms. He still held the reins tightly and Tony was too tired to try and wrest control away.</p>
<p>Tony drank too much, had too much sex with random women, and stretched his mind to build smarter weapons. Over the next few years, he fell into a pattern which was echoed by Harry. Summers were filled with loneliness and pain. In the month leading up to the summer break, there would be a spike of fear or pain or something.</p>
<p>After Tony's 23rd birthday, he thought someone poured acid through his veins.</p>
<p>After his 24th it was as if all of the happiness he had abandoned him for a few days. </p>
<p>The year following his 24th birthday was worrying. After the weird bout of unhappiness, the same loneliness and pain kicked in for the summer, then in September things got better as usual. It was in November that things took a turn for the worst. Loneliness returned fiercely, coupled with random spikes in fear and pain. This culminated after Tony's 25th birthday in an agony that brought him to his knees once more. </p>
<p>The feedback through their bond was horrifying. What was worse was Tony was in the middle of a board of directors meeting when he almost passed out from the trauma of it all. He tried to play it off as overwork and exhaustion, but Tony could see suspicion in Obie's eyes. For some reason, every time he considered telling his godfather about his mate, Tony's instincts screamed for him not to. </p>
<p>After that, things seemed to go downhill for Harry. Tony still could not locate any trace of the younger boy. He knew Harry was still alive, the bond was there, but that was the most he had. All Harry seemed to feel now was anger and hurt. There was the underlying thread of loneliness that never left. Tony was terrified about what was going on, the lack of information driving him to drink until he was numb, work until he was unconscious, or fuck until his brain stopped working. </p>
<p>The spikes of pain through the bond increased, maddening in their irregularity. Tony found himself shaking out his left hand often, the pain seeming to coalesce there. After Christmas, it got worse, headaches plagued Tony, disturbing his sleep and sanity. His life turned into a blur of pain and lies, each spike fading into the next.</p>
<p>Tony's 26th birthday passed by with reluctant acknowledgement as he focused more on numbing the ever-pervasive anguish. </p>
<p>Christmas rolled around again with a minor easing of the pain, the bond deadening with his reluctance to reach out and immerse himself further into his mates life. Tony was so helpless in the face of Harry's suffering. He remembered how excited he had been to get the bond when he was ten. Now, he felt resentment brewing. Why did he have to suffer like this? Why was he given a mate who was always in pain? What had he done to be handed this situation where he could do nothing to improve it.</p>
<p>His 27th birthday, Tony spent blind drunk and with his cock buried in as many women who would let him.</p>
<p>It was exhausting, having to keep the secret from Obie who was overbearing with his care; Pepper who was always watching and was so demanding; and Rhodey who genuinely cared but could do nothing to help.</p>
<p>There was a lull for a time, before a spike of anguish, then nothing. It was as if Harry had shut down, given up on feeling anything at all, as if the pain of his life had become too much to cope with. On one hand, Tony was relieved to no longer have to suffer immense pain all the time. On the other, he was worried for his mate, shutting down was never a good solution, he would know.</p>
<p>The next year passed somewhat quietly, occasionally a muted fear would roll down their bond, but that was the extent of it really. It wasn't until 2 May 1998 that things changed once again.</p>
<p>For the first time in a while, the bond opened. Tony hadn't even realised that Harry had been actively blocking it until resignation and affection poured down the bond. He was in his workshop, thankfully. So for the first time in years, Tony stopped, took his shirt off and peeled back the cover on his soul mark. He was worried, it felt like Harry was sending him an apology. </p>
<p>Pressing his hand to the mark, Tony shivered before responding with what affection he could. His breath caught when love poured back through. Tony had never felt anything like this. Sinking down to sit on the floor, involuntary tears sprang to his eyes as he felt Harry send him all the love he could. </p>
<p>He couldn't speak, his voice stolen by the love, underscored by heavy regret. Between one moment and the next, it was gone. </p>
<p>Horrified, Tony looked down to see the black writing fading to grey. Mentally, he scrambled for the connection, desperately reaching out again and again for that feeling of Harry. He had no idea how long he tried, tears running down his cheeks before he felt it. A throb back through the bond. </p>
<p>Holding his breath, Tony reached out again, connecting with Harry, who offered him peace and something that felt like an apology. </p>
<p>Lifting his hand from the mark, Tony could see the words had come back to the previous rich black, a thick grey outline wrapping around the ink. Collapsing down, Tony threw everything he had into keeping their bond open. Those moments without Harry were worse than all the pain he had experienced, the idea of never finding his mate horrified him and Tony resolved to go to England, to track him down on foot if he had to.</p>
<p>Tony couldn’t bear the thought of never meeting his other half, of never being able to explore their potential connection. Harry was the only one who would understand him, who would love him for him. Harry was the only one he could trust with all of himself. Because if Harry couldn’t accept the broken parts of him, no one would.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for Tony, he couldn't get away. Obie and Pepper were keeping too tight a hold on him for the next few months, filling his days with work so that he didn't have a spare minute. His 28th birthday passed in a haze of work exhaustion.</p>
<p>It wasn't until September when Rhodey offered him the perfect chance. A UK weapons developer wanted to meet with him to discuss possible collaboration for a new drone. Tony managed to convince Pepper and Obie to remain behind and keep the company ticking along.</p>
<p>The initial meeting was promising, their ideas meshed well together, but Tony couldn't relax. There was an itch under his skin demanding he jump on Super Duke, his favourite motorbike, which he had brought with him in the hopes of taking the time for a ride through the English countryside. He wanted to go to the last place he knew Harry had been.</p>
<p>Over the years, he and JARVIS had collected together what scraps he could of his mate. He knew that Harry had lived with his aunt and uncle, his parents had been listed as deceased, but there was no evidence of them. He found records for a Lily Evans, Harry's mother and the aunts’ sister, but she too vanished after she turned 11. There was nothing at all in the system which connected Lily or Harry to any of the Potters in England. No marriage certificate, nothing to use as a basis of tracing.</p>
<p>There were no medical records beyond a few nurses reports which swung between disgust and pity. JARVIS managed to dig up a school photo of Harry at age 9, but he looked more like a 7-year-old; tiny and waif-like with large green eyes and worn clothes.</p>
<p>He found the address where Harry had lived, digging a little more onto his aunt and uncle’s life in the hopes of turning over something new. The aunt was a stay at home mother, while the father worked for a hardware distributor. Their son had not performed well during school and seemed to have a one-way ticket to prison with the amount of minor criminal charges against him.</p>
<p>Finally, he begged off Rhodey and the meeting, promising he would be more helpful tomorrow, he just needed to go for a ride. Tony resolutely ignored Rhodeys worried look and jumped on his bike, JARVIS guiding him to Harry's last and only known address.</p>
<p>4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back! Thank you for the lovely comments, I do read them, I promise, and I try to reply when I can, but if you're not familiar with my other stories, I often struggle with interactions and responding to comments sometimes overwhelms me? It's weird, I'm weird, so please don't take it personally.</p>
<p>Anyway, enjoy the chapter! Tony finally discovers what happened to Harry ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>Eventually, Tony got to the street where Harry had once lived. Every house looked exactly the same, except one. It was quickly apparent that no one had resided in the property for a while. Tony lent against his bike to take in the house. It had fallen into disrepair; the paint was flaking in the autumn sun, the grass brown and gardens withered.</p>
<p>As he was grappling with the tangle of emotions he always associated with his desperate, fruitless, search for his soul mate, a voice coughed behind him.</p>
<p>Twisting around, Tony was already pulling off his sunglasses and smiling in a way he knew was disarming. The woman behind him was middle-aged and frumpy, though she tried to hide it with an elaborate hairstyle and too much makeup. Her expression shifted from suspicion to vague recognition within moments.</p>
<p>“You aren’t from around here,” she began hesitantly, “were you looking for someone?”</p>
<p>“Yes actually,” Tony stretched his smile wider, “can you tell me much about the family that lived at number 4?”</p>
<p>Her nose immediately wrinkled. “The Dursleys? Why would anyone be interested in them? I don’t believe I have ever met a more dislikeable family.”</p>
<p>“Yes well…” Tony agreed before she could backpedal over her unkind words. “I was more interested in the boy that lived with them? A nephew I believe?”</p>
<p>Her brow furrowed. “Yes,” she began slowly as if trying to recall, “Yes, they had a nephew, Harry I think, staying with them. Quiet little thing he was. The family didn’t seem to like him much, said he was mentally unstable. They sent him away to boarding school; St Brutuses or something, once he was old enough. He came home for the summers, but not the last one. The Dursleys moved away… maybe a year ago? </p>
<p>“The house won’t sell though.” She mused frowning distrustfully at the property across the street. “To be honest, we suspected they abused the poor boy, but there was never enough evidence to do anything and the boy would never say. I can’t help but wonder if the house is cursed. There were always weird sorts of people turning up at funny hours the last few years.”</p>
<p>She blinked, flushing a little as the woman realised how much she had told a perfect stranger. Palming a 50-pound note, he clasped her hand in both of his.</p>
<p>“Thank you, I have been trying to find Harry, to help him for a while but can never seem to pin him down. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you could.” He kept his expression earnest and was relieved when she softened.</p>
<p>“In that case, I wish you luck.” She smiled, patting his hand before wandering off, money slipping into her pocket.</p>
<p>Turning back to the house, Tony strode over and wandered up the front lawn. He tucked in the earpiece connected to his phone so he could chat with JARVIS as he poked around the outside of the dilapidated home.</p>
<p>Cutting around the side, Tony wound through dead bushes until he stumbled out onto the back porch. He could see an extensive vegetable garden that was overrun and flower beds filled with dead plants and weeds.</p>
<p>Trying the back door, Tony was perturbed to discover it opened at his touch. It was simple enough to ease open the door and wander through into the dusty kitchen, poking through empty cupboards and closets. The house was perfectly middle class if the weight of abandonment didn’t sit so heavily over it. All of the furniture remained but most of the personal touches had been removed. The unfaded patches of wallpaper marked where frames used to hang. Empty shelves and cupboards were thickly coated in dust. He paused at one door, near the top of the stairs, which had several locks on the outside and a cat flap at the bottom.</p>
<p>Tony’s gut twisted as he pulled the door open onto a barren bedroom. A small bed was shoved into one corner, a closet overflowing with broken toys in another. A rickety desk and chair sat under the single window which had heavy bars covering it. Stepping further in, Tony spied a pot of ink and a few quills on the desk. Some parchment was crumpled in the bin. He fetched it out, smoothing it over the desk, expecting to find art of some kind on the heavy paper. Instead, he found the fragments of an essay, he read it aloud so JARVIS could note it down.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘The Killing Curse was developed by Appoline Davies in 1402 as a way of humanely euthanising livestock. The curse was used by hunters and farmers alike for two hundred years without issue until 1625 when the Dark Lord Guilane used it as a method to execute those who resisted his rule. Once Guilane was defeated, the ICW handed down a ruling that the Killing Curse, along with the Imperius Curse and the Cruciatus Curse, were deemed ‘unforgivable’ and their use would result in a life sentence to the nations wizarding prison.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hunters and farmers were unhappy at this ruling, resulting in a rebellion of sorts where the cost of meat and game spiked unnaturally. Eventually, though, they caved to public pressure and…’</em>
</p>
<p>The essay cut off abruptly, the last sentence crossed out roughly. Tony read it several times, trying to make sense of the words. Killing Curse? Dark Lord? ICW? Shaking himself, Tony folded the paper carefully, tucking it away along with an unbroken quill and the inkpot. </p>
<p>Rifling through the room turned up a red and gold pennant with ‘Gryffindor’ written on it and a letter fragment to someone names ‘Snuffles’ that was tear-stained and crumpled under the bed. He found a second letter from a ‘Hermione’ under a tumble of broken toys. Stepping on a certain floorboard resulted in a loud creak and after prying it up, he discovered a stash of what looked to once be food if the bits of packaging were anything to go by.</p>
<p>Settling back on his heels, Tony shook his head. There was something weird going on with his soul mate. He seemed to be ok now, their bond calm and quiet most days. It also seemed that Harry would not be returning here. Perhaps he could find something helpful in what he had gathered.</p>
<p>“JARVIS?” He queried.</p>
<p>“Yes sir,” the smooth voice of his AI sounded in his ear.</p>
<p>“Begin a search using the keywords Imperius, Cruciatus and Gryffindor,” Tony asked quietly, still looking around the room, “And look for a St Brutuses school in the UK, see if you can dig anything up on Harry.”</p>
<p>“Of course sir.” JARVIS replied.</p>
<p>As Tony rode back to the hotel and the suite he was sharing with Rhodey, he considered their long friendship, considered the messes they had gotten into together, and gotten out of. Tony considered trust, and for the first time in his life, debated willingly sharing the identity of his soul mate with another person.</p>
<p>While JARVIS was his AI, his child in almost every sense, perhaps Rhodey could offer a different perspective on the situation. He was still debating sharing the truth with his oldest friend when he stepped back into their rooms, walking to the drinks bar.</p>
<p>“Tony?” Rhodey was out of his dress uniform, now in comfortable pants and a t-shirt, leaning against the door to his room.</p>
<p>“Hey Honey-bear.” Tony smiled around his scotch glass.</p>
<p>“You alright? Your ride clear your head? You were off today.” Rhodey moseyed on over to the bar, making himself a Jack and Coke before settling on the couch.</p>
<p>Tony sunk into the chair across from him. “Have you ever kept a secret for so long that you don’t know if you can share it anymore?” He asked finally.</p>
<p>Rhodey’s attention immediately sharpened. “Has something happened Tony?”</p>
<p>“Yes and no…” He trailed off, wondering how he could explain. </p>
<p>With a sigh, Tony stood, setting down his drink and stripping off his jacket, long sleeve shirt and undershirt. Rhodey watched him curiously, and his eyebrows rose as Tony’s fingertips began questing for the edge of the cover. Once he caught the edge, Tony peeled it away, revealing the black words curving over his ribs.</p>
<p><em>Harry James Potter</em>.</p>
<p>Tony waited, watching as Rhodey processed the mark.</p>
<p>He felt like he knew Rhodey well enough to guess at his thought process. First, the other man would realise it was a soul mark. Next, he would notice it was a man’s name. Then he would consider why Tony covered it up, possibly to protect his mate, or to escape homophobia. Finally, he would notice the thick grey border. Rhodey blinked and looked back to Tony’s eyes. It was a relief to see a level of understanding in them.</p>
<p>“So what’s changed?” Rhodey asked finally.</p>
<p>Tony sighed, reapplying the cover before pulling back on the undershirt and long sleeve shirt.</p>
<p>“I can’t find him, not really. I have been looking since I got the mark and have found traces of him, but he sort of vanished when he turned eleven. He died in May but came back, and this was the first chance I had to come and investigate. It’s safer now, for me to come out about it, now that Howard is dead.” Tony explained slowly. “I’m still worried though, but I need to find him… He died Rhodey.”</p>
<p>It sounded crazy now that he explained it all out loud. It was hard to accept, now that he had almost lost his mate, that he had never done more to try and find him. But Rhodey was nodding slowly, he had had some run-ins with Howard before he died, so was familiar with Tony’s worries.</p>
<p>“So, what have you got?” Rhodey prompted.</p>
<p>So Tony laid it out, the little fragments he had gathered, sharing the bits of information that JARVIS had found for him and what he had retrieved from the house on Privet Drive. When he passed over the letter from Hermione, something in Rhodey’s face changed.</p>
<p>“What was his name again?”</p>
<p>“Harry Potter.” Tony offered, suddenly hesitant.</p>
<p>“Hermione…” Rhodey murmured, tracing over the letter which just seemed to be a correspondence between friends, discussing summer holidays and returning to school in September. </p>
<p>“Rhodey?” Tony probed, worried he had made a mistake by opening up to his friend, worried that he had put his mate in the firing line somehow.</p>
<p>Rhodey’s expression smoothed over and he offered Tony a gentle smile. “I might have an idea of where to look for more information. I can’t promise anything, it’s all very classified and not digitised, so don’t think hacking the Pentagon again will get you answers.” Rhodey gave him an amused look when Tony moved to protest. “Just give me a little time to investigate alright? A week.”</p>
<p>“A week,” Tony agreed, staring down at the Gryffindor pennant in his hands.</p><hr/>
<p>It took two weeks before Rhodey turned up at his door back in Malibu, with a folder under his arm. In the meantime, Tony had successfully brokered the deal with the UK drone manufacturer and had been distracting himself by developing the system which would hopefully be able to distinguish between an active threat and one that wasn’t.</p>
<p>The biggest issue with drones to date was that they didn’t account for human instinct. They were a gun that could be pointed and fired, but they were incapable of assessing the surrounding situation and making a call on whether shooting or not was the best choice. Inspired by his success with JARVIS, Tony was convinced he could create a clever enough program to substitute for human instinct.</p>
<p>Tony had also started working on something that had been sitting in the back of his mind for a while; green energy, clean energy, was something he was passionately interested in. While weapons manufacturing was something that Stark Industries did, and he could design well, he wanted diversity. They had improved the medical industry in various ways with his technology and developed intellicrops to help developing countries have more and better food sources. Now, he wanted to try something else.</p>
<p>His father had designed the Arc Reactor that powered their California offices as a PR gimmick, but Tony had always seen its potential for something more. The idea for improving it was tempting. Self-sustaining, clean, practical. It would be the dream and set a new precedent on what energy would be moving forward.</p>
<p>“Sir, Colonel Rhodes is in the lounge.” JARVIS commented after turning his music down. Tony had been tinkering in his workshop but immediately abandoned his coding and hurried upstairs.</p>
<p>Rhodey had an innocuous manilla folder on the coffee table, next to a large pizza and two bottles of beer.</p>
<p>“Platypus!” Tony exclaimed, throwing himself down on the couch and cracking open his beer. “I’ve missed you.”</p>
<p>Rhodey rolled his eyes, taking a swig of beer and a mouthful of pizza. “Hey Tony, been busy?”</p>
<p>Tony was itching to hurry the conversation along to the mysterious folder, but something in his friends' eyes told him to leave it for now. Snatching up a piece of pizza, he took a bite.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve started work on the drone software, it’s looking promising, but I already had some of the framework built from JARVIS,” He waved away any comments on his speedy progress, “and I’ve been looking into the Arc Reactor again, I think I can make it better this time.”</p>
<p>“The Arc Reactor? Wasn’t that a publicity stunt by your father? It wasn’t viable.” Rhodey frowned, seeming relieved for the distraction.</p>
<p>“If it were smaller, it would be more efficient, more effective. I have some ideas on how to do it, but it will take time to test out the math of everything.”</p>
<p>Rhodey smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well if anyone can figure it out, you can Tones.”</p>
<p>They finished the pizza and their beers quietly, worry curling and growing through Tony. He got up, fetching them both fresh beers before settling back down.</p>
<p>“Rhodey?” He began slowly.</p>
<p>“Tony, you trust me right? You know I would never lie to you?” Rhodey asked, reaching out to touch the folder.</p>
<p>“Of course Rhodey,” Tony hesitated, dreading what was to come. “What did you find? Is it bad? A cult?”</p>
<p>A cult was the only explanation for why people surrounding Harry seemed to disappear off the face of the planet, or never exist to begin with. Rhodey’s answering laugh was pained.</p>
<p>“It’s not a cult, not really.”</p>
<p>That was not reassuring at all, and Tony was sure his expression said as much. Before he could demand more information though, Rhodey began talking again.</p>
<p>“I have a bit of a weird story to tell you, and you probably won’t believe me, but it’s the truth.” He paused, opening the folder to glance inside before grimacing and closing it one more. Tony’s fingers itched to snatch it from the table.</p>
<p>“There is a secret, kept by the highest levels of government, which only a select few are told of. I had heard a whisper, a little while ago, a name really, but never really believed it until you showed me your soul mark. I figured it was just hazing, but now I know for sure, the truth of it all.” He sighed heavily. “It took a bit of work, but I obtained the level of clearance I needed to learn about… Them. There is a community of… gifted people, who exist around the world. They exist outside of our normal government, outside of our laws. They are… magic users.”</p>
<p>Tony blinked… <em>What?</em></p>
<p>“There are natural-born witches and wizards that exist within their own society separate from the rest of the world. Now, I had heard tell of it a couple of years ago once my clearance level got to a certain level but dismissed it as there was no proof, only a passing comment from a superior officer.</p>
<p>“There was a story of a Dark Lord and a baby named Harry Potter who managed to defeat him who somehow did it again in May of this year. I didn’t really pay it much mind, but when I saw your soul mark, and his name on your skin, with that grey outline, I knew there had to be some truth to the matter.” Rhodey stopped, glancing down at the folder before pushing it over to Tony.</p>
<p>Frowning at Rhodey, he accepted it. Flipping open the cover, Tony found a few sheaves of parchment and some newspaper clippings. The one at the front immediately grabbed his attention. There was a large black and white photo of a young man. He had wild black hair and a strong jawline. His cheeks were hollowed as if he hadn’t had a good meal in too long, there were creases on his forehead which spoke of worry and concentration.</p>
<p>It took a few seconds to notice the image was moving, the young man was standing so still. The image seemed to cycle though, the young man shifting his stance and a small frown tugging at the corner of his mouth. He couldn’t see much else; a blurred grey background and heavy black clothes down to his chest before the photo cut off.</p>
<p>Tony had spent so long staring at the photo of a 9-year-old Harry, he could see the similarities; they had the same eye shape, same nose, the same jut to his jaw.  This was a relatively current photo of his mate. Finally, he managed to convince his brain to look away from the photo to take in the headline which scrolled above Harry’s head. <em>The Boy-Who-Lived-Twice!</em></p>
<p>More text was below the photo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Harry Potter, known as the Boy-Who-Lived since he defeated You-Know-Who as a baby, has done it again! As the wizarding world will recall, the Battle at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry occurred on 2 May of this year. Finally, our hero has stepped forward to give a statement on his involvement after weeks of speculation, and his absence from the public eye.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Voldemort is gone. I have spent the last year researching and travelling to ensure that any measure he took with which to guarantee his return once more was destroyed. I am happy to assure the Wizarding public of Britain that Voldemort is gone for good and will not return again. In the wake of his defeat, I beg the public to set aside old differences. It was the prejudice of old which opened the door for villains like Voldemort to ravage our community. During this time of rebuilding, I ask that old feuds be laid to rest, that we work together to build a better community where all are welcome.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I know many of you would have heard the Sorting Hat over the years plead for house harmony, I reiterate this message once more. Everyone has their place and their purpose within our community. Without ambition, nothing would progress. Without hard work, nothing would be accomplished. Without knowledge, nothing would be understood. Without bravery, nothing would be challenged. We must work together to learn from history.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>We can confirm that our Saviour will be returning to Hogwarts to finish his final year of schooling. Harry Potter refused to provide comment on what he planned to do following his graduation, though speculation has always existed that he intended to join the ranks of Aurors and protect our community from external threats.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Flicking through the folio, he could see another few articles about significant accomplishments for Harry, though most of them seemed derogatory in nature the few that were not seemed to hail him as a deity. There were also a couple of pieces of parchment with reports on his schooling and other activities from the Ministry of Magic. He had to suppress a snort at the title. The whole thing was a bit much to swallow. The timeline fit, sure, but really? A magical community hidden from the world? Tony struggled to accept it.</p>
<p>“Keep the folder,” Rhodey said when Tony finally looked up. “They are copies, just don’t let anyone see it and don’t upload it to your computer.”</p>
<p>He nodded, accepting the request for what it was (even though they both knew the likelihood JARVIS had already captured and stored the information was high), before taking another mouthful of beer.</p>
<p>“Movie?” He asked after a few minutes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, got anything new?” Rhodey grinned, settling back while Tony got a movie playing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Thank you all for the lovely comments, I am so chuffed to see how excited you all are over my story! I am also sorry for how horrendously late this chapter is. As an apology, I'm going to post a second one, because I'm feeling generous. </p>
<p>For those of you who are impatient, unfortunately, it takes a little while before Harry and Tony... collide ;)</p>
<p>This one brushes over a lot of the Iron Man movies. I don't go into much detail because we have all seen them and I'd rather not waste everyone's time rehashing what we are already familiar with. I cover Iron Man 1 and 2, I did take some liberties with the second movie. As a side note, I don't paint the Avengers or SHIELD in a particularly good light. I hate how everyone treats Tony in the movies. It drives me crazy how awful they are to him while he is footing the bill of so much stuff for them all.</p>
<p>We also cover off Captain Ameria returning and Thor, though I completely ignore the third Iron Man movie.</p>
<p>Anyway, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>Rhodey left the next day, allowing Tony to return to his current projects. The bond with Harry was quiet, and while Tony worked to wrap his head around the (possible) truth, he mostly set it aside in favour of finishing off the drone software just as the new year approached. As he was nearing completion, Obie asked that he come up with a new weapon, they needed something new and exciting to bump profits, so Tony mulled over what he could do while he fiddled with the Arc Reactor plans.</p>
<p>Tony came up with the Jericho. His heart soul cried out for the senseless violence of it all. The Jericho was sixteen small self-seeking missiles wrapped around and within a larger missile. It was the unholy baby of everything awful about ballistic missiles and intelligent tracking systems. As soon as he finished building it, Tony regretted it. He hated himself for handing the prototype over to Obie.</p>
<p>The board of directors went into paroxysms of delight over it. All of their usual contracts were immediately interested, crying out for a demonstration, begging for a taste. Obie half bullied Tony into going and providing the demonstration, setting it up in Afghanistan where they had a dedicated demonstration site. He dragged Rhodey along, distracting himself with alcohol. He did not speak with Rhodey about Harry, thankfully, the other man did not bring him up either.</p>
<p>Of course the presentation went well, everyone was ecstatic; Tony had always been an excellent showman. Obie was proud of him. Self-loathing burrowed deep in Tony’s soul.</p>
<p>They started heading back to the airstrip when it happened.</p>
<p>The explosion of bombs.</p>
<p>The rat-rat-rat of automatic guns.</p>
<p>Death. Blood. Pain.</p>
<p>Turning wide eyes to see one of his own missiles and immediately recognising it, knowing what was coming.</p>
<p>Blackness.</p>
<p>Pain.</p>
<p>His eyes fluttered open and agony breathed through his body. Cradling every inch of him, centring over his chest. He could feel worry threading through the bond, pulsing in his mind and heart.</p>
<p>He scrabbled to remain conscious, to regain a sense of <em>what? Where? How?</em></p>
<p>After who knew how long, he was aware enough to take in his surroundings. Looking down he was horrified to discover wires protruding from his chest.</p>
<p>A car battery was preventing shrapnel from penetrating his heart.</p>
<p>He was now one of the walking dead.</p>
<p>Tony was in a damp cave, in the middle of the desert (he assumed) with only one man for company. While Yinsen provided good conversation in the desolate place, it didn’t change the fact that they were prisoners of terrorists.</p>
<p>He understood, intellectually, what torture was, how it worked, the purpose it served. It did not prepare him for the experience of being repeatedly waterboarded. It did not help when the car battery futzed and shocked him, making his heart stutter.</p>
<p>They wanted him to build one. The Ten Rings, terrorists stocked with his weapons, wanted him to build them a Jericho. They expected him to willingly build them something to cause more death and destruction.</p>
<p>Resolve settled deep in his soul, echoed back through his bond with Harry. It didn’t matter how much they tortured him, he would not break.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until they turned to Yinsen with the intent to hurt that his brain kicked into overdrive. He was being silly, he had to find a way for them to escape, to find freedom.  He would find a way.</p>
<p>Inspiration struck and Tony got to work.</p>
<p>First, he needed to ditch the cumbersome car battery currently keeping him alive. His plans for the arc reactor had been mostly finished and it only took a little more mental arithmetic to calculate the final variables. What they would give him to build the Jericho could help, so he pretended to agree, played their game and Yinsen worked alongside him.</p>
<p>Yinsen told him stories of his family, regaled him with tales of his mischievous children and his hometown. Tony’s heart ached for the idea of a family of his own, for his absent soulmate and his mark echoed the feelings back at him.</p>
<p>Tony found himself sharing his hopes and fears with this kind man. Talking of his soul mate, but never his name. He spoke of his wish that they could be together, expressed his resolve that he would no longer let fear hold him back.</p>
<p>The arc reactor worked, settled deep in the socket in his chest.</p>
<p>It pressed against his spine, fit between his ribs. It hurt.</p>
<p>The suit worked too.</p>
<p>Yinsen died, and Tony finally understood how he would be with his family once more. He was resolved he would not waste any more time with his own mate. ‘Love is worth the risk’ Yinsen had told him.</p>
<p>Tony escaped, resolved to do better, to be better, to be worthy of his soulmate. The need was written deep in his soul next to the mark.</p>
<p>He had been a captive of the Ten Rings for a month and a half.</p>
<p>Tony shut down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.</p>
<p>He refined his suit, determined to solve some of the problems his weapons had created. For the moment, Tony set aside the task of finding his soul mate in favour of cleaning house. It was important that his home was safe when he found Harry. Tony found a surprising ally in Pepper who seemed genuinely happy to have him back.</p>
<p>But then, everything went wrong again with Obadiah’s betrayal.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure how many more bruises his heart could take.</p>
<p>Obie’s death. At his hands. He felt sick.</p>
<p>His godfather, cheerleader and champion. Tony was nothing more than a golden goose to be squeezed dry of any eggs. It had all been a lie and Tony was not sure he could bare it any longer.</p>
<p>Except, <em>‘I am Iron Man’</em></p>
<p>The words echoed through his head. For the first time. Tony was unashamed about who he was and what he had done. He could only hope that Harry would be proud of him, wherever he was.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A whole year had passed since Tony had gone to England in a desperate attempt to find his soulmate. He had JARVIS still running a search, trying to dig up anything else. From the information in the folio from Rhodey, he knew that Harry would now be graduated from school and would hopefully be out in the world.</p>
<p>Tony could only wait and hope that at some point, they would be able to track Harry down when he appeared in the mundane world. Tony now had the suit, so knew he could be in the UK in a matter of hours if only something would shake loose.</p>
<p>Until then, he focused on trying to make the world a better place, on helping out and cleaning up the mess left behind by his godfather. Pepper suggested doing something big to revitalise Stark Industries brand, so he reopened the Stark Expo, hoping it might attract the attention of Harry. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, something was wrong with Tony. The reactor was making him ill. It didn't take him long to realise that the thing keeping him alive was also killing him. The palladium core was poisoning him. He couldn't tell anyone, had no one really to tell, except perhaps Rhodey. But the other man had his hands full dealing with the military and the fallout of Iron Man and Stark Industries withdrawal from weapons manufacturing. Rhodey had not been happy with his choice but had ultimately respected his decision. Tony found himself yearning for Harry, wishing that they were together so that he had someone on his side for once.</p>
<p>The government was clamouring for him to hand over his suit, but Tony would not. It was his, his genius, his blood, sweat and tears.</p>
<p>They subpoenaed him.</p>
<p>Assholes.</p>
<p>Of course his meeting with the Senate Armed Forces Committee was a disaster. The posturing and arguing made him irritated, but Tony had little in the way of other choices. He would never permit his suit to fall into military hands, the destruction it could wreak would be unfathomable. It was laughable to think anyone could recreate his tech and he had no qualms about demonstrating it.</p>
<p>He spent his nights trying to find a solution, an alternative to palladium. He spent his days trying to find Harry, working and assessing what he should do if he died. JARVIS managed to get a snap of someone who might be Harry in Germany, but there was no evidence of his entrance into the country, nor was the image clear enough to be sure it was him. Their bond continued to be quiet and calm.</p>
<p>Tony realised that the only person he could trust not to drive Stark Industries into the ground should he die was Pepper. Since Obie's death, she had come on board for him, had been helping him clean house in a significant way and Tony found himself trusting her, albeit hesitantly. He knew the military wouldn't give up on getting a suit, so designed one for Rhodey that was biometrically locked to him. The army would get their suit, but it would not be abused as long as Rhodey was in charge of it.</p>
<p>He managed to drag Pepper away for a bit of fun, going to the Monaco Grand Prix where he was attacked coming out of the restaurant by an angry man with whips and an arc reactor alarmingly similar to his own. Discovering the man, Vanko, had collaborated with his father, sparked something in his memory. Something to do with the original expo and his father.</p>
<p>His promise that no one else could do what he did was falling apart.</p>
<p>Pepper wouldn’t listen to him and Rhodey didn’t understand his qualms about government oversight.</p>
<p>He tried to convince himself that Vanko only had access to the Arc Reactor technology, not the whole suit. It felt like a weak excuse though. A pretty lie to tell himself so he could sleep at night.</p>
<p>His world was crumbling around him and all Tony could do was try to take the next step, to keep doing the right thing. It was hard to know what was right anymore.</p>
<p>Heading back to New York, Tony dug up his father’s old things. Notebooks, movie reels-it was heart wrenching to see how dismissive his father had been of him in the footage. He had almost given up hope when he saw it. A photo of the expo model. Something was hiding in the model. It was a shadow just out of sight, a word on the tip of his tongue.</p>
<p>Jumping in his car, Tony sped to the California head office to retrieve the original model. He could almost see the blueprint for a new element through the noise of the model. It had been hidden well by his father, but not too well that Tony couldn’t find it.</p>
<p>Tony tried to talk to Pepper again, but to his frustration, she dismissed him. Now that she was acting as CEO, the power had gone to her head. She was too good to listen to the man who had put her there. Furious at her condescension, he took the model and left; stubbornly determined to prove everyone wrong.</p>
<p>He had started trusting Pepper and she just decided that now she was CEO, she didn’t have to listen to him at all. Hurt curdled in his chest and Tony turned cold to the red-head. She was a perfectly good CEO, but nothing more. Not any longer.</p>
<p>He had taken a risk by trusting her with his company, and now she was betraying it. For what? Ego? Pride? Money? Pepper was more selfish than he had thought. She didn’t want to see that he was sick and wouldn’t let him tell her either. At least now he knew. At least he had never bothered to try and have any kind of relationship with her. She was objectively beautiful, but Tony couldn’t go there. Not again, not anymore.</p>
<p>Tony threw himself deep into research, building himself a particle accelerator in the basement of his Malibu home. It was relaxing, cathartic, to wreak such havoc and destruction for the sake of building something wonderful and new. It was like when he built his droids for the first time; the experience of creation all over again.</p>
<p>It felt like it took no time at all and forever, but he was successful. He synthesized a new element.</p>
<p>It worked.</p>
<p>For his 30<sup>th</sup> birthday, he celebrated alone, uncaring about anything else for the moment except for his continued existence without the constant pain he had been in from palladium poisoning. The bond with Harry continued to be quiet, which was worrying, and not at the same time. Tony was glad that pain was no longer coming through the bond at random times. But since Harry’s death and their subsequent reconnection, the bond had been still, almost… numb. Tony knew from experience that numbness was not necessarily a good thing. He couldn’t do much though, not until he found Harry who was persistently elusive.</p>
<p>With fresh eyes, Tony reviewed the plans made as he was dying. He gifted a suit to Rhodey as planned but not telling him it was locked to his use. Tony would know if the suit was taken by someone else. He hoped that Rhodey would be more careful with it then to allow the army to take it away. He trusted Rhodey to treat the suit with the respect it deserved. Rhodey was his longest standing friend and Tony could only hope that his trust would not be misplaced. He comforted himself with the knowledge that should Rhodey ever betray his trust, Tony could reclaim the suit with little effort. He only hoped that the mistake wouldn’t be a bad one.</p>
<p>Tony also decided to officially set Pepper up as the CEO of Stark Industries, allowing him to head the R&amp;D division, where his heart truly lay. He didn’t see her as a friend anymore, and she had long grown beyond being his assistant. She had the qualifications and knowledge to be a good CEO. Pepper would relish the opportunity as she had been struggling with him-against him-for years and now, she could spread her wings. He still owned the company, of course, but Pepper had the flexibility and the purview to do what needed to be done to push Stark Industries forward. Tony ensured he retained veto power, but he was wiling to trust her this much.</p>
<p>With his new lease on life and reduced responsibilities, Tony decided it was time to really make a name for himself, separate to his fathers legacy. He had revolutionised the energy industry with his miniaturised arc reactor. Now, he wanted to do something more. Tony wanted to make his own headquarters, a building devoted to Research and Development, entirely off the grid and self-sustaining. Tony would prove to the world that he and Stark Industries were the new name in clean energy.</p>
<p>So Tony set to, making plans, buying land, applying for permits. It was exciting and new. He had never been this involved in the design and construction of one of his properties. Sure he’d had a hand in the design of his Malibu mansion, but the New York tower would be something else altogether.</p>
<p>Pepper convinced him to take on a new assistant, Natalie Rushman, so that someone could keep him on a leash. Tony was a little disconcerted about how closely the new woman watched him. She seemed surprised when he didn’t try and flirt with her or get her into bed. He wondered who she was and what she wanted. It wasn’t until JARVIS managed to connect her with Agent Coulson that he began seeing the whole picture.</p>
<p>The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division, now apparently known as SHIELD was watching him. Unsure what to do with that gem, Tony left her as was and ensured he never dropped his guard around her. Natalie seemed a little confused by his continued normal behaviour, almost as if she thought he was still dying and expected him to act out.</p>
<p>But then Vanko called, promising him pain and destruction. Tony realised that Justin Hammer had recruited Vanko. Hammer was trying to upstage him at his own expo. People called him egotistical. Rhodey, at least, came to the party and helped Tony take the idiotic bastard down.</p>
<p>In reality though, if Rhodey hadn’t had such a hardon for hardware - allowing Hammer to tamper with his suit just to stick bigger guns on it - their problem wouldn’t have been as bad as it had been. Vanko had been certifiable, utterly insane in his drive to tear everything apart for revenge and it scared Tony a little. They destroyed all of the drones and the expo, but managed to save everyone within it. It had been absolute chaos, wonton destruction, but Tony had prevailed.</p>
<p>The day after the battle, Natalie, Agent Coulson and Nick Fury turned up at his home. They spoke down to him, belittling him and completely failing to realise he had saved his own ass and did not need their help or condescension.</p>
<p>The audacity of Fury telling Tony he wasn’t good enough for their ‘Avengers Initiative’ blew him away. Romanov’s assessment of him-because of course they got some spy to infiltrate his life-was offensive. Agent remained quiet throughout the ‘meeting’, watching closely. Tony was half sure the man realised the mistakes Fury and Natalie were making but was doing nothing to stop them.</p>
<p>It was amusing, watching Agent watching the other two But if the man was going to keep his mouth shut, Tony sure wasn’t going to ruin the game.</p>
<p>Their decision to accept Iron Man but reject Tony on the basis of his personality defects was utterly rude. It spoke volumes of Romanov’s skills as a spy that she couldn’t see beneath his mask. The fact they seemed to think he should be happy they were permitting him to consult when they called for him was utterly astonishing. He was an actual genius, with actual PhD’s, but they treated him like any other fortune 500 spoiled brat with daddy’s money in his pocket.</p>
<p>He resolved to make sure he didn’t disabuse them of their image of him until he had to He couldn’t wait until the lot of them realised just how badly they had fucked up. So Tony played his part, pretending to not be bothered by their attitudes. He demanded some petty recompense for the work he had done. It was ridiculous. It was offensive.</p>
<p>Tony was called in to consult occasionally, Fury expecting him to supply his pet agents with new tech and gear for nothing but a pat on the head. Clearly Fury did not understand the time and money that went into the research and development he did. Thankfully, Tony was very clever and used what ever he made for Fury’s pets for his own gain. Tony had been utterly astonished when Agent had told him Captain America had been pulled from the ice. He couldn’t believe that his father’s dying wish had been fulfilled. He couldn’t believe that after being in the ice for 70 years, the captain was still alive. Perhaps magic was real.</p>
<p>Not long after the Capsicle was defrosted, something went wrong with his and Harry’s bond. Again. There was another spike of pain, the first prominent emotion since Harry had almost died, before the bond had dulled. When he focused on it, it seemed like it had been carved out, hollowed and emptied. It was almost like the shell of the connection was still there, assuring him that Harry lived, but there was nothing else.</p>
<p>It worried him deeply and so he began scouting out the spots where JARVIS had found possible glimpses of Harry, assuming it was Harry they were tracking. He seemed to be going on a tourist hot spot holiday, going to places filled with other people, Tony was always too late though. </p>
<p>Reports came through from Agent; Aliens were real. Asgardians were real. This was in addition to the Capsicle being found and now living in Tony’s time.</p>
<p>It was bizarre.</p>
<p>Tony found he had little desire to meet the relic. Too many rough memories of Howard’s obsession and vitriol for Tony. He doubted Captain America would want to know him anyway. Everyone judged Tony before they met him and he struggled to believe Captain America would be any different. He was not Howard and resented any parallels being drawn between them. All reports were that the Captain and his father had been good friends. No doubt Steve Rogers would resent Tony just as much as Howard had.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Are you all excited? I know I'm excited. Guess who's voice is finally being heard?</p>
<p>Harry's here!! Boom baby!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Harry is not OK. not at all, not even a little bit...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>Harry had always known pain. Well, that was perhaps an exaggeration. He was sure he hadn't known it for the first fifteen months of his life. By all accounts, the beginning of his life had been blissful and normal. Sheltered under the love of his vigilante parents. After that, there had been the pain of abandonment, of loneliness, of hunger. Then a few years later, physical pain had been introduced. The pain of physical labour, of being punished for not being good enough, of being hurt for being a freak.</p>
<p>At eleven he had hoped that perhaps his pain had come to an end. But no, he was wrong, it was just a different pain. The pain of too much food, the pain of being cast aside over and over again by his peers, the pain of being tested and found wanting year after year.</p>
<p>He had thought, perhaps, when he had died at the tender age of seventeen, the pain would stop. </p>
<p>He hadn't been wrong. </p>
<p>Harry had awoken and found himself hollowed out. Tabula rasa. A clean slate. Over the years, the pain he had suffered had become indelibly printed on him. It had been smeared over his back and ribs in lash marks, rubbed into his brittle bones, carved into his short stature. </p>
<p>But after he had died, when he had come back from the empty, there had been nothing. No pain, no fear, just a quiet calmness. A clean slate.</p>
<p>Initially, he had revelled in it, the quietness could easily be mistaken for peace. The calmness could be mistaken for genuine serenity. The lack of pain in his body for finally being healed.</p>
<p>It was a lie, like everything else.</p>
<p>While he couldn't really feel pain, he also didn't feel pleasure. His body responded, sure, when Ginny went to her knees before him and sucked him down. But he had been able to watch clinically, assessing that she was not doing this because he was <em>Harry</em> but because he was the Boy-Who-Lived, Lord Potter, and she wanted the life he could give her.</p>
<p>He knew that it would make people angry if he was unkind to her, so he lied (without remorse) and ended things as amicably as he could, before going on his way.</p>
<p>She had not accepted his rejection, no matter how prettily he had dressed it. She stubbornly believed that he just needed to try harder, to give it a go. She did everything she could. Nothing made a difference.</p>
<p>Harry realised in the year following his death, that nothing really held appeal to him. He was empty and everything outside of him skittered off the surface like beads of water on oil paper. He learnt very quickly how to fake living. It was easy to see how people expected him to respond to something and to act on their expectations. No one really noticed the change, all too busy celebrating the end of the war and the beginning of their lives. Harry didn’t think they really cared to look. So far, he was not defying expectations so he must be OK.</p>
<p>The only thing that seemed to hold Harry's interest for any length of time was the heavy discoloured scar across his ribs. He had discovered, over the years and through intense private research, that he had been born with a soul mark. His soul mate was the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.  He had realised that the odd, unrelated feelings trickling through the fledgling bond had meant. He had felt awful for the feedback which must have come from his end of the connection, but there was little that could be done to undo the harm he had caused.</p>
<p>His parents had glamoured the mark when he was a child so that no one would know the identity of his mate. It had been a time of war and they had wanted to protect something so precious, apparently. They had told Sirius that he had a soul mate but had not told the man his mate’s name, too worried about the war and risking another’s life. Alice Longbottom had been the midwife who helped Lily through her birth, only just recovering from giving birth herself. Alice had been sworn to secrecy, as far as Sirius knew, not that it mattered anymore.</p>
<p>When he had been sent to live with Petunia, the glamour had failed, and she had seen the words and understood what they meant. When he was five, in a fit of rage at him for accidentally letting her roses die, she had seared off the name with a heated blade from the garden shed. Harry could remember the pain and had never let her roses die again. He could not remember the name.</p>
<p>The hateful bitch that she was would rather die a thousand deaths than do anything to help him, so he had not bothered to ask her what the name had been once he had learnt what the scar covered. Instead, he had stood aside while she, Vernon and Dudley had been slaughtered during a Death Eater raid following the downfall of Voldemort. It was oddly reminiscent of what he imagined the Longbottom’s had gone through. The difference was, no one mourned the Dursleys, while everyone mourned the loss of Frank and Alice.</p>
<p>Sirius had asked, before he died, if Harry knew the identity of his mate, but he could not remember. He wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl, he wasn't overly fussed about either gender, so that didn't help. In 6<sup>th</sup> year, Harry learnt how to actively dampen the bond, to try and reduce the pain he inflicted on his soul mate. He continued doing that until the final battle.</p>
<p>Only when he knew he would have to walk to his death, did Harry open it up again. The rush of love from his mate had been overwhelming and it had given Harry the strength to go through with what he had to. Voldemort was a threat to the whole world. If Harry didn’t stop him, here and now, he knew that Voldemort would go on to raze the world.</p>
<p>Harry’s soulmate was out there, somewhere, and it if took his death to protect them, Harry would do it. Harry had only wished that he could have met his mate before he died. Unfortunately that was not to be. So he sent an apology and all the love he was capable of.</p>
<p>Then, he died.</p>
<p>Except death hadn’t stuck for him.</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>When he had come back, after the dust had settled, Harry could tell something was wrong, but couldn’t care.</p>
<p>He had no idea on what he could do, but the thought stuck that perhaps, if he could find his soul mate, he could find what was missing, what had been lost, what had changed in him. </p>
<p>He did not mind feeling so blank, but then again he wasn’t sure he could have minded if he wanted to. All he knew was something, in the back of his head, told him this was wrong, that this was not how it was meant to be, and perhaps his soul mate could help.</p>
<p>So, resolved to do what he could to find them. Harry hoped that his luck would hold and he would stumble across his mate. But before he could do that, he had to finish his NEWTs in order to be able to extract himself from the wizarding community with little complaint. Only then could he travel. He would need to convince the people he had cared about before he died that he just needed to stretch his legs a little. He needed to see the world before he settled down with a wife (Ginny, or so they assumed), and popped out two or three children after they had restored Godric’s Hollow or Grimmauld Place while he was an Auror fighting off the bad guys. </p>
<p>Harry felt faintly ill at the notion.</p>
<p>So, he packed his bags, locked down his accounts, and began wandering. He knew that just because he was a wizard did not guarantee he would have a magical soulmate. Instead, he figured if he travelled to heavily populated places, he stood a better chance of finding his soul mate. Statistically speaking, it should work, not that his luck ever cared for statistics. In reality, he hoped that when Fate or Destiny or whoever assigned soulmates, decided he was ready, his soulmate would be there. It was all he had at the end of the day. A vague hope that one day, they would meet and everything would eventually be ok.</p>
<p>Harry used a pseudonym, not to hide from the one he sought - that would defeat the purpose after all - but to hide from the wizarding world. They would surely come looking for him when he didn't return after the six-month trip he had promised was all he would take.</p>
<p>He saw Europe. Traversed so many countries where the only thing that got him by was a translation spell and not having too much money on his person at any one time. He searched magical precincts, and muggle, allowing himself to bump into people in the hopes of feeling that spark that indicated a soul bond. Even though physical contact with strangers made him want to scream.</p>
<p>It wasn't until he got to Moscow that things started to go wrong. His instincts flared up; old paranoia from the war kicking in. One minute, he was in a random part of the city. The next minute, he was drugged and captured.</p>
<p>Harry woke to find himself naked and wandless. The latter wasn’t normally that much of an issue, but whatever they had hit him with caused his magic to drain out of him like sand through fingers. The former was just cold.</p>
<p>Harry was strapped to a bench, wide leather strips keeping him completely immobilised as he reached again and again for his magic. He could feel… unease? It certainly wasn’t fear or terror, but something stirred in his gut. As he was musing over the feelings skittering across the slate of his mind, the door to the room opened. Well, he assumed there was only one door. As it was, with his forehead strapped down, he could stare at the ceiling and catch a little of the clinical room with his peripheral vision. </p>
<p>He listened as someone pottered around the room before stepping into his field of vision. She was young and pretty, her eyes were bright blue, hair a rich brown colour. Her lips were plump and pink, smiling kindly down at him. </p>
<p>His brain screamed that she was trouble.</p>
<p>“You’re awake! Excellent! We weren’t sure how long you would be out.” She began chattering, her voice was sweet and pretty, just like the rest of her. “You can call me April. We were ever so happy to find you, a stroke of luck really. One of the doctors had come across someone like you before, but they escaped before we could capture them. We didn’t hesitate this time though.” She smiled at him, her expression something akin to looking at a dog who had successfully done a trick.</p>
<p>“Now, I am going to attach some nodes to you, they will be a little cold, perhaps a little sticky, but you shouldn’t feel any pain.” She assured him but he knew that whatever she was going to do to him, wouldn’t end well. He struggled to believe that she actually cared whether he was in any pain or not. It was more likely she just wanted him to remain calm.</p>
<p>He felt little circles being placed at his temples, between his eyes, at the base of his throat, littering his chest, arms and legs. He had no idea how long it took her to lay them all out, but so far it hadn’t been anything more than what she had said. Life experience said it wouldn’t last.</p>
<p>“I have some little wires here that I’m going to attach to the nodes now so that we can see what is going on with your unique biology!” She exclaimed as if she had cut open a cake to find her favourite candy within. </p>
<p>Occasionally, Harry could feel the little wires brushing against his skin and as she moved around his body, worry skittered through his mind. </p>
<p>“Alright! Let’s see what’s going on in that body of yours!” She flicked on a few machines, and Harry could immediately feel <em>something</em> building within him.</p>
<p>The sensations stretched, curling through every inch of him until it filled him up. Finally, it seemed to latch onto <em>him</em>, his magic, his soul, and then it <em>sucked</em>.</p>
<p>Harry screamed.</p>
<p>His magic was forcibly drained from his body, trickling out of each of those wires and away from him, filling him with an agony of fire and pain unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Within seconds, his brain shut down, allowing him to retreat to a tiny fraction of his mind where he threw up every barrier and wall he could to keep the agony at bay. </p>
<p>April frowned when she noticed he had stopped screaming, falling slack with a gaping mouth and glazed eyes. She poked him a few times, glancing at the readings she was getting. Everything was holding steady, the patients breathing and heart rate elevated but that was to be expected. Shuffling around the bed she noticed that the brain activity had dropped off significantly but was still there. Shrugging, she figured it was better this way, at least she could think without the screaming. It had been quite loud and alarming.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Harry had no concept of time where he was trapped in his own head. He tried to lose himself in daydreams, but his happy memories were so limited, he ran out of material pretty quickly. Instead, he found his mental library and began re-reading everything he had ever read. It was terribly tedious, but at least it was a distraction from the pain raging outside of his pocket of sanity.</p>
<p>Periodically, Harry would brush against the outside of his bubble, recoiling when he discovered the pain had not abated at all. In between reading, Harry discovered there was a thin silver cord anchored to the bubble, stretching off into the darkness and pain. When he touched it gingerly, he discovered that this was the fledgling bond he shared with his mate and for a little while, it made him feel less alone. Reading was terrible tedious after a while, so he spent time trying to imagine what his soul mate would be like and reviewing different memories.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Harry realised after an indeterminate amount of time, that his little bubble wouldn’t hold for long. Exhaustion set in. The bubble was shrinking. He couldn’t be sure how long he was trapped for, all he knew was that now, he was almost encased in the bubble. It was so small, with only the bond for comfort. He couldn’t move without running the risk of touching or breaking the bubble.</p>
<p>Harry wished that he could gift something, anything to his mate as a goodbye, as an apology. He knew that once the bubble failed, the pain would rush in and he would go insane within minutes. The agony of waiting was terrible, but he wanted to put off the pain for as long as he could, no matter how boring it was, being curled around his end of the bond.</p>
<p>He could feel his strength slipping away, so gathered what he could of himself, the fragments of happiness and kindness he could remember and stuffed them down the bond.</p>
<p>His bubble failed.</p>
<p>Exquisite agony slammed into him and he screamed, body twitching in the bindings. Sanity slipped away from him, trickling away with his magic as it was torn from his skin.</p>
<p>He could only hope, with the last shreds of himself, that this didn’t feedback down the bond and hurt his mate.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alas, no meeting yet, but I promise, it is coming ;) Will it be in time though? Will Harry be a vegetable by the time Tony finds him? Will the pain bring Tony down too? I guess you'll have to wait and see...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have only recently realised that I did nothing with HYDRA for this entire story. Woops... Let's just pretend that they were actually destroyed back in the day and leave it at that, yeah?</p>
<p>Guess who's going to meet?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>“What Fury?” Tony asked exasperated when his phone rang again while he was trying to work out the kinks on a new StarkPhone.</p>
<p>“Don’t take that tone with me Stark, you’re being called in.” Fury snarked back.</p>
<p>“You do realise I have a job, a company to run?” Tony threw down the solder he had been using in exasperation.</p>
<p>“Oh yes because tinkering in your workshop is such a demanding job.” Fury snorted and Tony wondered for the umpteenth time why he bothered.</p>
<p>“What do you want Fury?” Tony asked marginally more politely.</p>
<p>“We have been notified that an old Hydra base in Russia has reactivated. It’s giving off a weird energy signature we have never seen before. I am sending in Hawkeye and Black Widow, we need you to go in and disable the energy source.” Fury explained.</p>
<p>“Russia huh.” Tony perked up, thinking back to a few photos JARVIS had recently picked up from Moscow of a maybe-Harry. “Alright, when and where?”</p>
<p>“I’m sending you the packet now.” Fury hung up without any further comment.</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes at the rudeness, used to it by now, focusing instead on the information that had been sent through. The packet had limited details, but Tony was an expert snooper, so could read between the lines of what was happening. They had the tesseract now, and SHIELD knew how to monitor for different energy signatures, but whatever they were reading was something new. The closest thing they could find was when Thor was about, but that was like comparing a battery to a nuclear reactor.</p>
<p>Flicking through the images and blueprints, he could see that the base was isolated outside of a small town in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere Russia. It was a few storeys tall and went down into the ground a few levels as well. They thought that the energy emanated from the lower levels and seemed to be protecting the base, though they weren’t sure how.</p>
<p>SHIELD had apparently tried to send in a couple of spy drones to get a better look, but as soon as they had come into contact with the shield, they had failed. That did not bode well for him and his tech-heavy methods. Blowing up the blueprint of the building, he flicked through the different routes to the suspected housing room, trying to see if there was a way to remotely cut off the power source without damaging whatever it was. If tech was disrupted by it, he wouldn’t be able to get through.</p>
<p>Perhaps he could get Black Widow or Hawkeye to shut it down before he went in to contain it. But how would he communicate with them… Perhaps if he built a couple of new coms that would cycle themselves on using energy generated by the human body. If he kept the tech low-key and simple, they might be able to sneak it through. Worst case scenario he could pick up a couple of walkies so that they could talk through it. He would need a portable workstation though…</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but wonder if the bubble was just that, a film that had to be breached before the tech would work again and the drones hadn’t worked because they couldn’t be remotely turned back on again. Or was the base a black zone where once tech went in, it would die.</p>
<p>It was a good thing his arc reactor was its own power source. It was self-sustaining, so even if something tried to shut it down, it would keep going, keep powering itself. Tony began throwing together all the things he would need. A spare reactor, just in case, his suitcase suit, for portability and a backup, as well as the Mark IV suit that he would wear over. He packed up his portable workstation as well as his prototype stark glasses, a couple of spy drones and a few other odds and ends. The large toolbox was rather full by the end of it and hideously heavy, but it was fine, he could take the quinjet to pick up the murder twins and they could get a wriggle on before Fury decided to be an asshole once more.</p>
<p>Enlisting the help of Butterfingers, Tony suited up and loaded the jet. It was easier to fly without the suit though, so he had the weird pleasure of plonking the empty suit on one of the seats and getting the jet moving. It took no time at all to get to New York and pick up his little killers, chatting to JARVIS all the while about projects that he was currently running and different things Pepper needed.</p>
<p>The pair were ready and waiting on the roof for him, small mercies, but he was miffed when Hawkeye kicked him out of his own fucking pilot seat to fly the jet to Russia. Pulling out the work station, Tony went back to his actual day job, talking to JARVIS and dealing with Pepper all the while ignoring Bonnie and Clyde who seemed to enjoy ignoring him too. Of course, the fact that Fury had bullied him into making a special quiver and bow for Barton and special widow bites for Romanov was disregarded, like everything else. Their gratitude non-existent.</p>
<p>It didn’t grate, not really. No one had ever been grateful to him for anything he had done, why would it start now with his little killers? That was just madness.</p>
<p>Hours slid by as they made their way to the mother country. When they were half an hour out, he started briefing the pair on the tech issues they would face and the possible solutions he had found. Widow confirmed that there was security on site, but the tree line ran pretty close to the edge of the energy field, so if they were quiet and careful, they would have a little time to work things out before all hell broke loose.</p>
<p>Tony and the murder twins landed a couple of clicks out from the reactivated Hydra base. He resolved to attach his trunk to a Rover or something. Wearing the Ironman suit and carrying his own bloody luggage through the forest was undignified. Not soon enough the trees began to thin and Tony set up while the pet assassins scouted the area. They located the patrol routes and forced Tony back further into the forest to avoid detection. </p>
<p>"Alright, which of you is going in first?" Tony asked, holding the bundles of different comms.</p>
<p>Widow and Hawkeye exchanged a look before she stepped up. "This earpiece should cycle back on when you step through the force field. It will beep quietly in your ear after a few seconds to indicate it worked. If not," he handed over a cheap two-way radio, "radio me and let me know before you come back."</p>
<p>He didn't need to tell them that having the earpiece not cycle on would be an issue. Walkies were hideously outdated and if he couldn't get in, he would have to talk one of the other two through shutting down the power source which was not ideal. The entire point of him being there was to shut down the power source so it could be removed and studied. He doubted Bonnie and Clyde could manage that on their own.</p>
<p>Widow took the earpiece, settling it in her ear and vanished into the gloom. Tony handed another one over to Hawkeye and settled his own in his ear. Immediately he could hear slight feedback from Widow, confirming they worked, not that he doubted his own genius.</p>
<p>The minutes stretched by before finally, Widow breathed into the receiver. "I am near the dome, if you don't hear from me in five minutes, Clint, follow."</p>
<p>Tony listened carefully, hearing a quiet pop as she stepped over the barrier. A thirty seconds later, the earpiece beeped again and Widow was back.</p>
<p>"You there?" she asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Copy." Tony replied. "You're up." He jerked his chin at Hawkeye, watching as the archer melted into the forest as well.</p>
<p>After about ten minutes, Tony gathered up a few things, stashing a Starkpad in a pack and attached it to his hip, just in case he needed to hack anything, and followed as quietly as he could. Unfortunately, the suit was not built for stealth. His brain immediately began calculating how he could embed a chameleon circuit into the outer shell of the suit. He would also need to lighten the whole suit, it was so heavy and chunky as he stomped through the underbrush. Shaking the thought away, Tony promised himself to look into it when he was not in the middle of a raid.</p>
<p>As he stepped up to the edge of the forest, he could see that Widow and Hawkeye were slowly taking out all of the guards on their side of the facility. It was an ugly blocky thing, squatting in the dirt. He waited for the all-clear before heading down to meet the pair. As he stepped over the barrier, he felt the reactor stutter in his chest, but once through the weird energy field, it settled back into its normal hum.</p>
<p>"We will go ahead and try to take out who we can before you follow." Widow instructed, "If we can avoid an all-out firefight, we should have an easier time of it."</p>
<p>With that, the pair slipped in through the main entrance and he could hear the sounds of quiet fighting through the comms. Tugging out the Starkpad, he retracted one gauntlet and began trying to find a way into the security system. Within a minute he was into their security feed, watching as Widow slaughtered a room full of guards. Hawkeye was picking off the few people in the mess hall. </p>
<p>Flicking through the security feed, Tony confirmed that the space beyond the doors was cleared, so slipped in, easing the door shut. Walking as quietly as he could, Tony trailed behind the murder twins as they cleared a path to the room that he had flagged for housing the power source. The room in question glowed under infrared, the energy seeping out into the facility via thick cables.</p>
<p>Hawkeye reached the room first, the sound of the door opening was followed by the soft <em>thwick</em> of his bowstring firing.</p>
<p>"Nat." Clint breathed suddenly, and there was something off with his voice. </p>
<p>Tony hopped over the banister in the stairwell and dropped to the bottom, repulsors controlling his descent. He tucked away the Starkpad before opening the door letting out into the hallway. Widow was making her way to where Tony could just see Hawkeye hovering in the doorway to a room.</p>
<p>"What is it?" Tony asked, disconcerted when Hawkeye threw him a mildly alarmed look </p>
<p>"I think I found the power source." his voice was slightly hysterical.</p>
<p>Flipping back the face plate on the suit, Tony strode forward as Widow pushed past Hawkeye who followed her in. He realised what had caused the pair to freeze. A naked man was strapped to a gurney, eyes lidded and glazed and drool slipping from between slack lips. His form was emaciated, ribs standing out harshly, stomach caved in above protruding hips. He was covered in wires which pulsed with energy.</p>
<p>The man was the power source?</p>
<p>Turning away, Tony focused on what he was there for. Machinery was banked against the walls, humming and whirring. Everything was in Russian of course, but language had never posed an issue for him before with tech. Within minutes he had figured out how to turn the blasted thing off. Just as he was about to flick the final switch, the form on the bed twitched and screamed.</p>
<p>A wall of pain slammed into Tony, and he accidentally set off his gauntletted hand, a repulsor blast tearing through the console.</p>
<p>He was on his knees, panting when reality set in again. Hawkeye was at his side calling his name.</p>
<p>"What… the fuck." Tony panted.</p>
<p>"Not a clue." Hawkeye smirked, but the expression did not reach his worried eyes. "Can you stand? We need you to carry the mark out. Widow and I will cover you."</p>
<p>Groaning, Tony allowed the suit to help him stand, shuffling over to the bed where the leather straps had already been removed. Someone had grabbed a lab coat, throwing it over the man. It took little effort to slide his metal arms under the man's shoulders and knees, cradling the form to his chest.</p>
<p>Getting out was a blur, Widow running ahead to ensure no one was left alive to hinder them while Hawkeye trailed behind him, making sure no one was sneaking up. Tony wasn't sure how he made it to the quinjet, though he remembered dumping the man onto one of the two med beds before stepping out of the suit and collapsing onto the other.</p>
<p>Tony woke a few hours later while they were still in the air. Nat had apparently hooked the man up to a drip filled with something that was possibly nutrients and most likely a sedative. The man was breathing gently, slow and steady. Groaning as he sat up, Tony couldn't help but notice heavy scarification curling around the sides of the man's ribs. The lab coat had bunched up so he could see a wide burn on the side of his ribs along with many others that littered his arms and chest. This man had not led an easy life.</p>
<p>As he stood, Tony spotted a cuff, anchoring the man to the bed and couldn't help but snort at Nat's paranoia. Shuffling to the cockpit, he found Nat piloting.</p>
<p>"Heading back to SHIELD?" he asked, slumping into the co-pilot seat, Clint was passed out in one of the other chairs but twitched when Tony spoke.</p>
<p>"Yeah, we have to report in, drop off the mark, he needs medical attention anyway."</p>
<p>Tony hummed, settling back in the chair to watch the night sky slip past. Judging by the colour on the horizon, dawn wasn't too far off.</p>
<p>"What happened back there?" Nat asked finally.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Tony replied, shaking himself from the stupor he had fallen into.</p>
<p>"When the mark woke, he started screaming, and you went down. A bit after you shut down the machine feeding off him, both of you settled down." She frowned, irritated at having to clarify.</p>
<p>“It didn’t effect either Clint or me, so we don’t think it was his scream, nor an area effect once he woke. It seemed to just be you who was affected.”</p>
<p>"Huh," was all Tony could manage, his mind already racing through possibilities.</p>
<p>“Did you bring my trunk back?” He asked suddenly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, once you got out of the suit, I asked it to fetch your things. JARVIS piloted it I’m assuming.” She grumbled, irritated at him ignoring her question.</p>
<p>A thought occurred as he mulled over Natasha’s comment about him going down at the same time as the mark woke up screaming. Lurching up, he jogged back to his trunk and rifled through until he located the prototype Stark Glasses. Settling them on his face, he grinned a little.</p>
<p>"Hey J," he greeted his AI.</p>
<p>"Good Morning Sir," JARVIS replied quietly in his ear.</p>
<p>"Can we do facial recognition?" Tony asked, making his way over to the man on the bed.</p>
<p>"Of course sir," JARVIS responded promptly, "are we scanning for someone in particular sir?"</p>
<p>"Harry," Tony tried to grapple with his hope, but now that he was looking, he could see the wild dark hair and strong jawline he had been staring at since Rhodey had given him the wizarding photo. The man’s cheeks were caved in from starvation now, lines and wrinkles etching his face deeply even in repose.</p>
<p>It was a matter of seconds before JARVIS spoke. "I have a 90% match based on the most recent image. If we take into account the evident malnourishment, I would be comfortable confirming that this is Harry James Potter."</p>
<p>Tony's breath caught, heart stuttering in his chest. He reached out a hand, hovering it over Harry's wrist. With a burst of courage, he wrapped his fingers around the thin skin and bones that made up his soulmate, their bond sparking and shuddering back to life. He opened his eyes -Tony hadn't even realised he had closed them- and found Harry's eyes open. They were magnificent, a rich green, but disconcertingly empty where they fixated on him. A breath passed when they just looked at each other before the bond settled and Harry's eyes slipped closed.</p>
<p>“Stark?” Nat’s voice cut through the silence.</p>
<p>Tony had no idea how long he had been standing there, holding Harry’s wrist. Shaking himself, Tony gently set Harry’s hand back down, straightening out the lab coat so he was covered before walking back to his seat at the front.</p>
<p>“Stark?” She asked again when he didn’t comment and the minutes stretched.</p>
<p>“He’s…” Tony began, hesitating, did he want SHIELD to know? He couldn’t let them take Harry, he had to protect his soul mate. </p>
<p>“Have you met your soul mate?” Tony asked finally.</p>
<p>Nat stilled for a moment. “Yes, a long time ago.”</p>
<p>“What would you do to protect them?” He continued.</p>
<p>Her eyes flickered to him for a moment before refocusing on the view. “Whatever I had to.”</p>
<p>“What would it take for you to let me go with the mark?” Tony asked eventually.</p>
<p>She thought for a long time, and Tony was beginning to lose hope that she would agree. “A favour, no questions asked, whenever I ask for it.” </p>
<p>“Done.” He sighed with relief.</p>
<p>“I can open the bay doors and slow down, you get in your suit and take him, I will get your stuff back to you later.” She suggested and Tony was moving before she finished.</p>
<p>Within minutes, he was suited up and gathering Harry into his arms. As he stepped up to the door, he glanced over his shoulder to see Clint watching him closely. “Thank you,” He murmured before jumping out of the opening and immediately routing his way towards his home in Malibu. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew that Harry would not be safe with SHIELD.</p>
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